if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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