If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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