mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
