i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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