On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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