its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
