told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What a dumb baby whore.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
