i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
