I'm going to rape someone's good day.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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