i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
