woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
