Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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