She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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