very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
it was like eating out sand paper
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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