Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
