"it" just moved
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
