I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
