dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
