it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
