She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
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