If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
