i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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