OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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