weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Jerry, you need to find god
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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