a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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