Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
