office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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