yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize