She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
