4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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