I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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