So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
