I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Pooping to opera.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
