News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
