i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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