Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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