you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Oh god it's open bar.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
