The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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