just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
