but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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