So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
