Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
