I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
