I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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