I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
