I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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