That's intense
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
