yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
