I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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