Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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