i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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