he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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