If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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