She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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