I just gift wrapped bread.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
