I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
