My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
