Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
