that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
