So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
