whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize