sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize