what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
