pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
